Al Franken Quotes

Paul's greatest contribution to the progressive cause wasn't what he accomplished in the senate, alt...

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them b...

Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contr...

The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting A...

My daughter became a teacher right out of college.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes whe...

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings...

My dad was a terrible businessman.

We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4...

If we don't start caring about whether people tell the truth or not, it's going to be literally impo...

Politics is not just about power and money games, politics can be about the improvement of people's ...

You're not supposed to have to be rich or lucky to have a chance to do great things. Opportunity is ...

Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user's phone number and home address, anyone with an Interne...

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW!

My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman. We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath ...

Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe. Compared to the America...

It's hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a...

Today I will masterbate!Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if...

When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he mean...

My dad didn't graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made mor...

Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. 'Call-time' is where I...

When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn't exist...

Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology I myself own an iPhone.

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of...

When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about pro...

National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust a...

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when g...

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lesson...

When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who nee...

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included huma...

Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of ...

Mistakes are a part of being human. Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unl...

My spiritual life is... sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don't. When I do have access t...

I've never understood why we would want to deny all the joys - and the challenges - of marriage to a...

My parents didn't make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate - he didn't have a care...

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kin...

There's plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it's a serious business.

I'm part of the mushball middle. I consider 'confused' the majority position because, thankfully, mo...

During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in...

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spect...

There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so...